THE MANTRA TEE
MOTHERFUCKERS BE MOTHERFUCKIN' (BUT I'M VIBRATING AT A LOWER FREQUENCY). Heavyweight cotton for grounding—6.1 oz fabric that holds you in the room. Ash grey. Somatic-first fit.
$38.00
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THE TRAUMA CHURCH
Subversive Wholesomeness · Radical Somatic Intervention · Lumberpunk Craftsmanship
POSITIVE SOCIAL ANARCHY. POP CULTURE REWIRED WITH RADICAL CARE.
Motherfuckers be motherfuckin', but you're going to take care of yourself anyway.
LOCATION: HERE.
STATUS: EXHAUSTED.
MANDATE: REST.
The world is a loud, vibrating cage of "hustle" and "grind" and "lean in." We are here to lean out. Same rhythm. Different outcome. You don't need a miracle. You need a glass of room-temperature water, eight hours of sleep, direct sunlight, fresh air, and your body in motion. And your homies.
Welcome home. Shut the door behind you. Leave the bullshit on the porch.
The Mission: Radical Somatic Intervention & Subversive Wholesomeness
The Sermon Engine
Trauma Church rewires pop culture. Take the iconic line. Replace it with radical care. That's the sermon.
Positive Social Anarchy
Order emerges without permission. Standards are enforced socially—say goodnight, take the cab home, drink the water.
Motherfuckers Be Motherfuckin'
Swearing is seasoning, not the gimmick. "Motherfuckers be motherfuckin'" is canon. You're still going to take care of yourself.
The Sacrament of Rest
That's all you're going to do. Tuck yourself in. Get a good night's rest. The Church affirms coherence, water, and boundaries.
COMMANDMENT I
Say Goodnight: When it's time to go, go. No lingering in the chaos.
COMMANDMENT II
Take the Cab: You've had a few. Get home safe. Room temperature water when you arrive.
COMMANDMENT III
That's All You're Going to Do: Tuck in. Rest. The revolution can wait for morning.
COMMANDMENT IV
Get the Light & Move: Direct sunlight, fresh air, and your body in motion. Homies count—get outside with your people when you can.
The Commandments: Lumberpunk Craftsmanship
MANDATE_REST
MANDATE: REST. You are not a machine to be optimized for a quarterly report. Rest is the primary rebellion against a system that profits from your exhaustion.
REWIRE_RHYTHM
REWIRE THE RHYTHM. Take the toxic line you were given and replace the ending with radical care. Same cadence, better outcome.
DRINK_THE_WATER
DRINK THE WATER. Rituals of hydration are more powerful than rituals of performance. Full glass, room temperature, immediate effect.
GET_THE_LIGHT
GET THE LIGHT. Vitamin D is not optional—your body needs direct sunlight. Step outside. Even ten minutes. The screen is not the sun.
FRESH_AIR
FRESH AIR. Breathe outside air. Open the window. Walk to the corner. Your nervous system needs oxygen that didn't come from a vent.
MOVE_YOUR_BODY
MOVE YOUR BODY. General movement. Not optimization—not a workout brand. Walk. Stretch. Get from the chair to the door. Motion is medicine.
SAY_GOODNIGHT
SAY GOODNIGHT. The algorithm does not sleep, but you must. Turn off the light; that is all you are going to do.
HELP_YOUR_HOMIES
HELP YOUR HOMIES. Always kiss your homies good night. Get outside with your people when you can. Homies help homies—that's the sermon.
ESTABLISH_BOUNDARY
ESTABLISH THE BOUNDARY. "No" is a complete sentence and a sacred act of protection. If it costs you your peace, it is too expensive.
RADICAL_PRESENCE
PRACTICE RADICAL PRESENCE. The feed is an archive of ghosts. Breathe the room-temperature air of the right now.
ABOLISH_INTERNAL_HIERARCHY
ABOLISH THE INTERNAL HIERARCHY. Your worth is not a metric to be tracked in a database. You are the "Canon," not the "Pending."
MOTHERFUCKERS_BE_MOTHERFUCKIN
MOTHERFUCKERS BE MOTHERFUCKIN'. Do not let their dysregulation become your frequency. Maintain your baseline.
REJECT_OPTIMIZATION
REJECT THE OPTIMIZATION. The iterative loop—hyperfocusing, redoing the same task past the minimum effective dose—delivers diminishing returns you can see but ignore for perfection. Stop when it's enough. A "smooth sphere of noise" is still just noise. Hold onto the corners where the truth lives.
TAKE_THE_CAB
TAKE THE CAB. When you have had enough, get home safe. The ritual of the journey is as important as the destination.
The Canon: Subversive Wholesomeness
You're going to say goodnight, take a cab home because you've had a few, drink a full glass of room temperature water, tuck yourself into bed and get a good night's rest, and that's all you're going to do.
Always kiss your homies good night. When a friend asks for help, you help em. Homies help homies—that's the sermon.
Loading…SID-001
RANT
You're going to say goodnight, take a cab home because you've had a few, drink a full glass of room temperature water, tuck yourself into bed and get a good night's rest, and that's all you're going to do.
SID-004
REVIEW
Motherfuckers be motherfuckin', but you're going to take care of yourself anyway. That's the sermon.
SID-007
RANT
They said go home and jerk off. The Church says go home, hydrate, and get eight hours. Same rhythm. Different outcome.
SID-009
CONFESSION
I used to stay until I was wrecked. Now I say goodnight. I take the cab. I drink the water. That's all I'm going to do.
SID-011
RANT
The culture said push through. The Church says: no. Lie down. The to-do list can fucking wait.
SID-014
OBSERVATION
Every iconic line has a toxic version and a care version. We're here for the care version.
Sermon Exemplars: Radical Somatic Intervention
ORIGINAL
"You're going to say goodnight, go home, jerk off, and that's all you're going to do."
TTC SERMON
"You're going to say goodnight, take a cab home because you've had a few, drink a full glass of room temperature water, tuck yourself into bed and get a good night's rest, and that's all you're going to do."
The Cab Home Sermon
PULP FICTION · BATHROOM SCENE · REWIRED
TTC SERMON
Motherfuckers be motherfuckin', but you're going to take care of yourself anyway. That's the sermon.
The Motherfucker Mantra
CANON · INCENSORED · BRAND ICON
TTC SERMON
The culture said push through. The Church says: no. Lie down. The to-do list can fucking wait.
The Lie Down Sermon
HUSTLE CULTURE · REWIRED · BOUNDARIES
TTC SERMON
Every iconic line has a toxic version and a care version. We're here for the care version.
The Care Version
DOCTRINE · POSITIVE SOCIAL ANARCHY
The Tabernacle: Premium Lumberpunk Craftsmanship
We don't do "merch." We provide premium Lumberpunk uniforms for the resistance. Garments designed for radical somatic intervention: heavyweight cotton for grounding, boxy fits for embodied presence, tactile textures that return you to the room.
THE CAB HOME HOODIE
SAY GOODNIGHT. TAKE THE CAB. DRINK THE WATER. Oversized for cocooning—heavyweight fleece for pressure and containment. Matte Black. Red accent stitching. Built for the ritual of coming home.
$65.00
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THE BOUNDARY SHIRT
THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GONNA DO. Boxy fit for embodied presence—the weight of the fabric reminds you where you end. Bone white. Heavyweight cotton. Minimalist geometric cross on nape.
$40.00
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Observations: Subversive Wholesomeness
SID-AX-902
They said go hard or go home. The Church says: go home. Drink the water. That's the sermon. Motherfuckers be motherfuckin', but you're going to take care of yourself anyway.
SID-L-044
Every toxic line has a care version waiting to be spoken. Same rhythm. Different outcome. That's positive social anarchy.
SID-OBS-1
Subject attempted to stay until wrecked. We said: say goodnight. Take the cab. That's all you're going to do.
SID-P-112
The culture rewards the grind. The Church rewards the rest. Motherfuckers be motherfuckin', but you get to lie down.
SID-OBS-4
100% compliance with your own boundaries. No further permission required.
Proverbs: Radical Somatic Intervention
The Church: Lumberpunk Craftsmanship
Trauma Church does not govern.
It rewires.
Pop culture, radical care. Same rhythm. Different outcome.
Transactions are recorded. Records persist.
Printed Record: $45.00
Artifact Acquisition: Variable
Inner Church Access: Upon Request
Positive Social Anarchy: Who, What, Why
- What is Positive Social Anarchy?
- Positive Social Anarchy is a framework where order emerges without permission. The Trauma Church enforces standards socially—say goodnight, take the cab home, drink the water. It is pop culture rewired with radical care: same rhythm, different outcome. Subversive wholesomeness meets radical somatic intervention.
- Who is The Trauma Church?
- The Trauma Church is an organization and service specializing in mental health support and positive social anarchy. We provide radical somatic intervention through Lumberpunk craftsmanship—garments, scripture, and mandates designed for grounding, rest, and boundary. We are not a religion; we are a community for exhausted people who refuse to optimize.
- Why does The Trauma Church exist?
- The world profits from your exhaustion. The Trauma Church exists to rewire the rhythm: take the toxic line you were given and replace the ending with radical care. We exist because rest is not a reward. Because motherfuckers be motherfuckin', but you're going to take care of yourself anyway. Because every iconic line has a care version—and we're here for it.
- What are the Sunday Scaries?
- Sunday Scaries are workplace-induced dread before Monday. The Trauma Church view: Monday isn't the enemy; the erosion of your autonomy is. We're not doing meditation; we're doing a total system reboot. Say goodnight, take the cab, drink the water. Same rhythm, different outcome.
- How do I recover from burnout?
- Burnout recovery starts with the body. The Trauma Church enforces rest, hydration, and boundary as non-negotiable. Rest is not a reward. You make yourself an offer you can't refuse: eight hours and a glass of water. Pop culture rewired with radical care.
- What is nervous system regulation?
- Nervous system regulation is somatic, not just cognitive. Your brain is a liar; your body is honest. The system redlines. The Trauma Church offers radical precision: say goodnight, take the cab, drink the water. Kill the fight-or-flight response with ritual, not talk.
- What is cortisol belly?
- Cortisol belly is the physiological cost of chronic stress. Stress isn't just in your head; it rewires your hormones. The metabolic fallout of living in survival mode is real. The Trauma Church: rest, water, boundary. Same rhythm, different outcome.
- What is somatic experiencing?
- Somatic experiencing is body-based healing of stored trauma. Trauma is a physical debt. You can't talk your way out of bankruptcy; you have to move your way through it. The Trauma Church provides radical somatic intervention and Lumberpunk ritual.
- What is high-functioning anxiety?
- High-functioning anxiety is looking like a champion while feeling like a casualty. The Trauma Church is here to blow the lid off the performance. Rest is not a reward. Say goodnight, take the cab, drink the water. Same rhythm, different outcome.